Circle of Iron

I've been a little disappointed with the way some of my recent reviews have been turning out, so I set out to find a movie that I would have no trouble at all talking about. I always have the most fun writing about unintentionally funny, so-bad-they're-good movies, and as luck would have it, Richard Moore's Circle of Iron is the very best kind: the well-made bad movie.

Admittedly, it's a lot of fun to laugh at the ineptitude on every level inherent in something like The Room or Battlefield: Earth. But Circle of Iron is actually a clear, coherent, and very watchable film. The badness comes not from the filmmaking, but goes all the way back to the ridiculousness of the very concept of itself. Not only is it ridiculous, but it is done completely in earnest, and that innocence is why it's so unintentionally funny and so enjoyable.

The story for Circle of Iron was actually conceived by Bruce Lee before he died. He never managed to get it made, but as often seemed to happen with Bruce Lee, David Carradine was called in to save the day. I don't know what Bruce Lee's version would have been like. Maybe completely different, maybe legitimately good. I don't know, though, this movie is pretty silly.

The setting: a fantasy world, where men with 70's mustaches fight each other with martial arts for entertainment as what appears to be the Pope of Kung Fu (Roddy McDowell!) looks on. Our hero, manlily named Cord, clearly the manliest of these manly men, is on a quest. He must find and defeat the man named Zetan and learn the secrets from the book he possesses. On his journey, Cord is apprenticed by a blind master (Carradine), and put through various trials (also mostly Carradine), at the end of each, he learns something about himself (Carradine? No, Cord.).

Cord is hilarious from the get-go. He has his long, flowing, feathered 70's hair. He is clad in only a furry loincloth and furry boots (it's that kind of fantasy world). He wears a gold medallion around his neck. He's clearly not the best actor, but he plays the role sincerely.

David Carradine plays four characters throughout the film. He was an interesting actor. He's been great in things (Bound for Glory, Kill Bill Volume II), and pretty bad in other things. Even at his worst, though, he's kind of mesmerizing to watch. I think he's actually pretty fun in this one. His blind guru character is kind of both awesome and hilarious. He's the cliched Zen Master, speaking only in heavy-handed platitudes and answering every question with a question in turn. He plays the exact same wooden flute that he plays in Kill Bill. Not only that, but he uses it as his cane, AND as a weapon. And get this: It whistles when he twirls it! Come on, that's legitimately cool. Additionally, Carradine plays a monkey man, a nomad, and Death itself. The monkey costume is pretty embarrassing.

There's a random scene in the middle of the movie where Cord meets Eli Wallach, playing a man trying to disintegrate the lower half of his body in a vat of oil. It's played with a sense of humor, and it's supposed to be a parable (it probably really is a parable). It just winds up really bizarre and out of place, but it's part of the crazy fun of the movie.

The parables are one of the funniest aspects. The whole movie is really about enlightenment, (trust me, it's not subtle when you find that bit out at the end) and I'm sure each step of his quest is probably some ancient Confucian story or something. They really hammer it home on you. It's like Man Philosophy, very rudimentary but seemingly profound riddles that the nerdier breed of Martial Arts enthusiasts probably love because it makes them feel both masculine and sensitive at the same time.

Before I go, let's talk about the filmmaking. The director, Richard Moore, was a fairly accomplished cinematographer. It shows. It's a very well shot film. I was shocked by how good it looked. Most Martial Arts movies and Barbarian movies look like they were made on a $50 budget. This one probably was too, but Richard Moore hides it well.

The fight scenes are pretty good too. I know Carradine was the star of Kung Fu, but I guess I'd never seen him at it. If he didn't know martial arts, and I'm not sure if he did, he fakes it convincingly.

So, how do I grade a movie like Circle of Iron? With a couple of the bad movies I've reviewed, I just refused to grade them, because my motives for watching them were not pure. If I enjoy a movie even though it's bad, I can't possibly give it a high grade, can I? I laughed a lot at the absurdity of Circle of Iron, and I really did enjoy it, on a kind of stupid level. I don't think I'll give it a letter grade, but I will recommend it as a fun movie to laugh at with your friends, if that's the kind of thing you like to do.

By the way, if my review interested you, and you want to read a funnier opinion of Circle of Iron with less punctuation, follow this link to my buddy Kent's blog. We're doing a little crossover.