Tales that Witness Madness

In my last review, for The Innocents, I mentioned cinematographer Freddie Francis, who has a memorable and respectable filmography, having won much acclaim shooting movies for directors like David Lynch, Jack Clayton, and Martin Scorsese. But for me, the fascinating side of Freddie Francis was his career as a director. Through the 60's, 70's, and 80's, he made many low budget horror films for smaller studios such as Amicus and Hammer. I doubt it was the career he imagined for himself, but from the few of his directorial efforts that I've seen, I'd say he at least did his best to have a good time with it.

Tales that Witness Madness is one of several horror anthology films that Francis directed. At least four that I know of, including the cult classic Tales from the Crypt. They all have a pretty similar structure: four or five short horror stories, usually with an ironic twist ending, bookended by a character telling the stories, or something similar. In the end, there's one last ironic twist that ties it all together.

In Tales that Witness Madness, the framing device is a psychiatrist (played by Donald Pleasance) showing off his patients at a mental asylum to another psychiatrist. Each patient has a story of the supernatural that brought them there.

One story follows a boy who escapes from his constantly arguing parents by having an imaginary friend. His friend happens to be a tiger. As he begins to grow closer and closer to his imaginary friend (sneaking large slabs of meat into the bedroom and such), his parents begin to get concerned. Unfortunately, that just leads to more arguing. Whatever is a boy and his imaginary tiger to do?

Next, we have a man who owns an antique store. He puts a weird old portrait and an old timey bicycle out for sale. These items draw him in, and give him the ability to travel back in time to the subject of the portrait's past.

The third story is about a man who brings home a weird tree to display as art. His wife doesn't like the tree, as it looks oddly human and creeps her out. As the man's affection towards the tree grows, so does the woman's jealousy of it, until the tree itself takes on a life of its own...

And finally, we have a tale of human sacrifice as Kim Novak plays a literary agent trying to land a client by throwing him a grand luau, traditional of his people. Little does she realize she is aiding him in a cannibalistic ritual, with her own daughter as the main course.

Whoops, that last one was kind of a spoiler. But you know what? It doesn't matter. If you can't figure out where this thing is leading well in advance of it happening, you must be 8 years old. Which is probably the best age to watch this movie. Just like Francis did with Tales from the Crypt, Tales that Witness Madness is infused with a sense of good-natured, self-aware fun. These are the kind of R-Rated movies that a kid can watch and feel like they got away with something, and a parent (well, depending on the parent) doesn't have to be too concerned.

Of the four, my favorite was the first, with the kid and the tiger. It was like a demented prototype for Calvin and Hobbes. The one with the old-timey bike and the painting was really good, too. The painting always changed expressions, and was hilarious.

The twists are usually pretty obvious, but the fun of the movie is really in watching the stories unfold. You get to watch these oblivious characters stumble into their horrible fates, knowing you would never make the same mistakes they did, because you are smart.

Tales that Witness Madness, along with Crypt, and surely other Freddie Francis anthologies, would make for a fun night. The stories are short, usually enjoyable, fun to laugh with and at. The camera work and direction are ably done, and the actors seem to be enjoying their roles. Though Freddie Francis the director never had the opportunities that Freddie Francis the cinematographer had, I have the same amount of respect for him. He took the chances he was given, kept on making movies at the edge of the system, and he always gave us a little twist at the end.